Posts filed under ‘COL- Circle of Life!’
Decades ago when child marriage was prevalent, parents married off their daughters at 8-10 years and kept her till she attained puberty. In other words once sexually active she was sent off to her husband’s place. This meant teenage pregnancies, many children, deaths during child birth. While it still happens in parts of the country but post Independence Govt. made many laws including Hindu Marriage Act and Muslim Marriage Laws. Perhaps because law is a lady they also made a few to check crime against women:
- Child marriages is a criminal offence- She has to be 18 to marry
- Sex with a girl below 18 even with her consent is termed as Rape
Delhi High Court ruling that a Muslim girl at 15 can marry if she has attained puberty is going to make things dirty for the girl child. The verdict was given for a case where a 16 yr old who married a boy of her choice and wants to live with him against her parents’ consent. The court has also instructed the couple and in-laws to appear before the Child Welfare Committee once in every six months till the girl attains majority. How I wish HC also told the in-laws to ensure she completes education and does not bear a child till she turns 18. Why couldn’t they have restricted the verdict to this case only, why turn it into a ruling applicable to the community at large.
- · A Muslim girl’s parents want to marry her off at 15 and it is imposed on her?
- There is sex without consent in marriage and is forced?
Does it mean a Muslim girl:
- Is physically and mentally mature at 15?
- An early pregnancy will not pose risk to her health?
Who is responsible for:
- Her education & career?
- The husband decides to abandon her after an year or two?
Will law bridge the gap:
- The permissible age for a boy to marry in India is 21. So her husband could be anywhere 6 or more years older than her.
- More importantly, in each marriage where the girl is between 15-17 yrs will her husband and in laws expected to report to the nearby court reporting on the girl’s well being
On one hand the clerics and orthodox Muslim board welcome the decision. I hope the Supreme Court intervenes and issues a stay on the order. Else we will not even have words to say how sorry things will be…
Is this is not a compromise of her Fundamental Rights and Freedom? Are they not enough crime already happening against the girl child? In cases of baby Falak, Afreen what was the HC able to do which now it has gone ahead and given a clean slate to crush the already weak one?
Thani says, “There could be times when a man will try to escape situations when he is expected to work towards creating a change for better. But when the tough gets going, it’s the woman who gets tougher with her efforts that play an instrumental role in bringing about a change.”
It may seem a hard-to-comprehend thought to you but I could relate to it completely the instance I heard it. When I got to know of the ‘Be The Voice Of Change’ contest, I knew exactly what I had to share. http://facebook.com/sftimetochange
It was not very long ago when the house-help in my parents’ house, a mother of 5, confided to my mother that she was pregnant with the 6th one. It was a typical story of drunkard husband, suppressed wife with a family that had troubles making ends meet. InIndia, we all have known at least one such case first hand. Her husband, obviously, never cared to fend for the family members. We do not even raise an eye brow when we hear a story like this, because these are the kind of stories we had been exposed to since child hood.
On learning about the maid’s pregnancy, my mother took her to a gynecologist who suggested that she wasn’t physically fit enough to go through another child bear. An abortion followed. Isn’t it ironical that it was actually a relief to let her have an abortion, given the situation in her house? Another child would have only made it more difficult to sustain. But for a woman to let go off her child..
It was a difficult time for her. We put her for counseling and she wisely opted for sterilization. But that’s when the real change happened. Amidst the trauma of abortion and what followed, which actually made her physically weak, she beamed with a new-found strength in herself. Somehow, the experience made her realize what all she can do to make the lives of her children and herself better. There was a woman who had firmly taken a few decisions.
Her daughters, apart from attending the school, took up vocational training. It was an apt choice; she didn’t want them to end up being house-helps like her. This was cycle of change which she started. We were obviously very supportive of her decision and helped her in whichever way possible, from time to time. She had taken the first step, and that was half the battle one. The maid is still working in our house, but she is now a happier person, a more confident lady. It only makes us happy that what appeared to be a painful situation made her. Her children are on their way of getting ready and groomed to apply for good jobs.
This is an idea I have been conceptualizing for some time now will be my step towards bringing around a change in our perspective towards those who come from under privileged background. I want to help them cover the distance which separates them from those who have everything going for them. I feel, vocational training should move beyond stitching, knitting, cooking, et al and it should include personal grooming, computer training, verbal communication and other soft skills like how to talk on the phone, greet people, table manners, etc. This will not only improve their job prospects but also give a boost to their confidence, shape their personalities and make them more self sufficient.
I believe those who have seen their parents struggle are more liberated to go that extra mile to achieve success. Just like someone placed their faith in me, I want to place the same in others.
Circumstances are beyond our control but brining about a change or at least making a positive move is the power we all have within us!
Well there are some who can pull you out of your shell and there is one who comes, kicks in the backside and pushes you out of the slumber… for those who already don’t know, this is my very own Dr. D
Though she is in pursuit of becoming a ‘good doctor’ isn’t that an oxymoron? And little or no time for just about everybody, she found some for the blog. The biggest hit on my blog was her first guest post for me and well, I will like to see this one breaking her previous record.
So I logged in my blog after months to publish ‘The Big Little man’… feels awesome to be here and make me feel better with your lovely comments…!
He grew up in physical form alright,
Not too braced, not too fragile;
The boy had grown up too soon, never looking at what he reflected;
In that weak moment, where he didn’t see his face fall
The world’s twisted ways, had his attention deflected;
Satisfied in his decadence;
He forgot to veil, what he thought was only his to see;
His eloquence couldn’t hide the hollowness of his eyes,
Or the darkness that had seeped inside;
The emptiness within gnawed his life,
But mortal love didn’t bring as much atonement,
As the souvenirs gathered from sordid fights
The big man and his big dreams;
Basked in his mementoes’ gleam;
The gleam that faded at nightfall,
Never ceasing to remind him of the cold otherside
An instant connect with someone you met for the first time in your life but feels you have known this person forever? Have you experienced Deja Vu moments? Have you ever thought that there are experiences from your past life influencing your present one? A guest post from Vaibhav Dugar, a telecom engineer, blogger, entrepreneur, farmer, co-founder of Ek Titli and a friend & confidant to me…
I was running in a queue in a dark tunnel that had fire lamps at regular intervals on the wall. There was a similar queue running in the other direction. A deep sense of fear and chaos prevailed. I was running towards an opening that was filled with frequent bursts of light; light from the explosions around our city. We were under attack by barbarians who loot and kill and eventually destroy the city.
I was scrambling on the floor, looking at my killer on a horse back with a long gigantic spear. I scrambled to avoid the inevitable. There were cries of pain and tremendous fear in the air. As the spear was drawn to strike me, I heard a scream. Someone was shouting my name. She was screaming relentlessly looking for me. I met her eyes.
She was in tremendous pain. A rope tied across her legs was pulling her down a slope. Face down and being dragged she was searching for me and screaming my name, until our eyes met.
I served the King, a kind and a noble man. While I laid down the fruits from the platter on his table I noticed someone at the door, looking at me. She shyly looked away and giggled; and in a breath she was gone. She was serving the Princess of the kingdom.
We frequently met at the courtyard while doing our regular chores, exchanging glances and smiles. In the silence something beautiful blossomed. In the dark hallway, I held her close to me. The light from the fire lamp made her look so divinely pure and serene. As we held each other’s hands, and our fingers touched, I gently kissed her on her lips.
No words can describe how I felt. Her eyes overflowed with love for me and it shone with light. She hugged me to complete what we witnessed so over-powering that evening.
The farms were huge, as huge as your visions could stretch. She was running amongst the yellow flowers, while the wind blew through her hair and filled the air with her beautiful smell. The clear blue sky and the sun rays blessed us as they reflected the love in the air. I humbly chased her as she ran into the fields with open arms, naughtily teasing me while she ran like a kid and moved like a bird. I was beaming with joy and love. I caught up with her and as we fell on the soft, grassy field the world came to a standstill.
I still see that look in her eyes, the love that I now call Divine. As we came in divine unity, every atom of my soul, every cell of my body vibrated with this love that we so beautifully shared. I was filled with this light of love. We lay all bare, hugging each other. I noticed she had peacefully slept on my arm. I looked at this Angel teaching me Love, while I moved my fingers on her face and lovingly kissed her forehead. I slept hugging her, in unison as her gentle warm breath filled my face and put me to sleep.
I was running in a queue with fear and worry in my mind. I couldn’t find her ever since the chaos erupted. I was at the granary when the uprising arose. People were running everywhere, and screaming with fear. I ran looking for her, but couldn’t find her.
I heard her screams while she was being pulled down the slope. Our eyes met, and we never stopped looking at each other. Amidst all the fear and pain in the air, her eyes filled with love as soon as she saw me. I was in love.
With a powerful thrust, a long spear went through the back of her neck. I screamed feeling her pain, tears rolled down my eyes; my hands stretched towards her.
The blow was sudden. It tore through the flesh of my heart, and my bones snapped with the jolt. I could feel the blades of the spear wrench through my flesh and tear it. My chest burnt and I spurt out blood. My eyes didn’t leave her and neither did hers. They looked at me the way they always did.
She turned over as the spear was drawn out from her neck. She looked at me; the love was so overpowering that we couldn’t feel the pain. Another blow of the spear went through her chest; her eyes didn’t leave me; I saw the love in us. I cried and screamed her name. I held the spear in my chest and stretched my hands towards her, desperately trying to move and run towards her, until another blow of the spear went through my stomach. My body shook with pain. I was pinned to the yellowish floor. I looked at her while my shoulders gave way, my neck sagged and my head went down. There was not a finch of pain in our eyes. She felt so complete and at peace looking into my eyes. Only love for me, the way I’ve always seen it.
Her eyes slowly closed; my head dropped on the floor and as I continued to look at her, life slowly neared its end. The world stopped yet again as my eyes gently closed taking me through all the memories of her shyness, her giggles, the hall way, running in the fields, looking at the Beautiful Angel while she slept in my arms.
Love prevailed as I moved from darkness onto light.
I am loved ever so beautifully as she did and I love as purely and divinely as she taught me to.
Read it? Go back and read again as someone’s real life experience. The post is based on Vaibhav’s Past Life Regression session
I have had dreams so pristine clear for me to put them on paper,
And there have been periods when the connection just snapped,
Work took precedence & affair took a back seat,
Till I realized it’s joyful to steal moments from my day and talk self,
With this; my affair with words turns two!
Till my next.. here is a feast for your eyes!!!
The one who said shopping is an addiction definitely belonged to Mars who knew nothing about the pleasures one derives from it. Shopping has a balmy effect on the heart, its soothing! Like I say Zen is the philosophy of effortlessness, so is shopping, it makes you happy till it lasts and leaves you with things to feel good about.
Spend if you have, eye them if you don’t. After all, just looking and deriving pleasure is free. And imagine if a glimpse of something can make you smile, how delightful it will be to own it? Oh, I don’t go splurging, but aren’t clothes, shoes, accessories, bags, linen, home decor articles et al things of utility?
Our feet need no direction when they step inside a mall, the invigorating fragrances from Body Shop will take us there. That tee with the catchy ‘HORN Ok Please’ will make heads turn. But, how about getting organic cosmetic care products of the best quality and at reasonable prices sitting at home? Won’t it be nice to sip coffee in that flamboyantly designed colourful mug? Well, your search ends here
Check out Rustic Art – They are nature lovers who make products free off chemicals, machines, animal testing, animal fat and even artificial fragrances & colors. Rustic offers a variety of handmade organic soaps, oils, shampoos etc. I swear by their products and now you know why I smell like vanilla these days . Just click, order and they deliver! In three words they are- Affordable Quality Products!
Have you heard about Chumbak? If you haven’t then click here to see what you have missing out on Chumbak- They are Arty, tastefully funky and for a price-conscious person like me- who wants it all, yet wouldn’t like to spend thousands. They have a variety of queer items and accessories which are perfect gifts options. I bet you click on it once and you are hooked to it. The ‘Chumbak’ indeed works effectively!!
Instead of wondering why a post about the joys of shopping. Go look and find the answer for yourself!
Disclaimer- I buy in moderation and maintain a list of things I need and want – make a budget and pick-up things accordingly. I suggest, you do the same.. Remember greed led to the murder of the bird that laid the golden egg
Do you know of any such off-beat products, brands? Do share the link or tell us there whereabouts.
Do you know that girl who laughed off a pimple breakout and said why worry about something which will go off on its own? She has a face which attracts a second and a third glance. Is it her genes or her happy and pearly-white shiny smile that add glow to her face?
This 30 something, during her college years, then lecturer days, now a wife & mother never applied a speck of make-up to highlight her features. Someone who never cared to buy a concealer to cover that blemish or apply a mascara to enhance her eyes? She didn’t even feel the need to try. She, who has the perfect texture of skin and lips so lusciously pink that a lipstick make could create a new shade ‘ naturally rose’ after her . Her Voluminous hair when left open fall well below her waistline and tied up in a bun look as classy. Doesn’t she sound like the Wow woman with simplistic charisma or should I say unspoilt beauty?
Of course she does her little bit to keep her charm intact and I am privy to those secrets . I will reveal it here and if you visit her you will know how true they are! Oh, she is same one who is possessive not about her jewels but soap! It travels with her across the globe. Definitely must be feeling exclusive because it was one toiletry which never stayed in the bathroom, else it might be touched by someone else and get polluted. Her diet- lots of fruits, veggies and milk. She loves to chuckle and bask in sun. Take a walk by the lake, teaching the little one her first words.
She for me is the epitome of real beauty! Beauty is a package which contains an assortment of everything, from lovable nature, down to earth attitude, a hearty smile, expression of affection, brains, wit and confidence to be the person you are born as.
My sister, we grew-up together yet she been ‘awe-spiring’ for me. I literally had no intentions of participating in this contest, but then I thought I know the ‘Dove’ woman! Despite our fights about why she picks-up stuff from my wardrobe and other just like that issues , this post is for HER!
A meek wail never went unheard at ‘In my lap’, a small home in by-lanes of Chennai for the little ones who were tagged ‘unwanted’ even before they were born. 40 -Something, Aung Iyer had set-up this place nearly a decade back and refused to call it an orphanage.
A home where kids were sent to good schools, wore their size clothes and not just hand me downs. There was always an ‘amma’ or ‘akka’ (elder sister) around to pamper them, help with home-work, tie their shoe laces and button-up the shirts. Oh, not to forget deciding on whose turn will it be next to sleep in Aunt Aung’s room.
Aung, which means to succeed in Burmese, is a lady with zest for life with only one dictum “being a parent is a responsibility and not a liability.”
Abandoned by her Burmese mother when she was barely 7, Aung felt blessed that her mother chose to let go off her and she found foster parents in Anand & Radha Iyer. Anand was in the Police and had rescued young girls from a trafficking mafia; Aung was youngest in that group. Though Iyer’s had two children of their own yet that didn’t deter them from taking her in their family.
to be continued…
Bye-bye winters, hello sunshine! Can you smell the change in air, it’s fresh and crisp. Flowers look so happy and cheerful!
No analysis, no pointing out the good Vs better, no this happened in India or what shouldn’t have, no world politics talk, no how to make this world a better place discussion, just a nostalgic dose of the days that were in the previous century to what changed in the decade that ends in next few days. Feels like yesterday when there was a big buzz about the whole Y2K phenomena. It wasn’t mere beginning of a new century but a millennium and boy we are already ten years into it!
Amazing isn’t it? I count myself amongst the luckier lot, born at a time when the pace was smooth, no hurry, stress was an unheard word. Any activity playing a sport, watching tv was a group exercise unlike today where everything is so individualistic and just for you. Things had a longer shelf life and left a never to fade impression like, writing with fountain pens, filling ink and while doing so staining hands and clothes. It now has an exclusivity factor. In fact who writes that often? Hand written notes are now a rarity. Walkman, a possession that was counted as owner’s pride and peer’s envy . Old-style MTNL phones, it actually meant dial a number not punch. Bi-cycles- I cycled to school..! Kids these days don’t have a privilege to do so with the traffic on the road and of course chauffer driven cars at their service.
Now, there is 1:1 ratio for mobiles and soon it will be the same with cars. Games are on play stations with or sans a partner. You have one TV for the living room and one each for every family member. FM is huge and its not just AIR, every frequency has a station but strangely each one is limited only to music?
www shrinked the world and all dead, alive and non-living things became Google-able. If Orkut was about school re-unions then Facebook is the third most populated place in the world after China and India. And if I quote a friend then FB has achieved what many in a family failed to do in reality, “Being friends with family”. How can I not add youtube, the easiest way to find an audience and achieve fame.
First came MP3s and then Mr. Job became the same to Gizmos as Mr. Gates was to computers & Microsoft. Apple as fruit may not be available in every part of the world but as ipod, iphone, ipad, itv it is most sort after and desirable. If e-commerce changed the way you shop then e-readers like Kindle, Wink changed the way we read. There is an e version for almost all newspapers, magazines and books. Do stuff the way you like to because choice is unlimited and we are spoilt for it!
Look at me when I was in college I filled sheets with my so called ‘ creative pieces and stories’ and now I blog, write whatever little I can and read a lot of mind-blowing stuff some of you publish.