Mad Man’s History Lessons: Timeline 2 by Sudhir Pai

March 2, 2013 at 12:17 am 1 comment

We’ll begin the second post on historical timelines with 1 BC, when our ancestors solved the 6000 year old mystery of what BC really stood for. To understand life before this monumental year in history.
126 AD – Emperor Hardian builds the Pantheon for all the Roman Gods, who are actually Greek Gods with Italian passports that were not issued in Sicily

301 AD – Magnetic compass invented in China. Cheaper Magnetic compass made in Taiwan. Men still go wrong with directions.

364 AD – The Japanese begin to spread their influence on Korea. The exercise continues till very recently, when LG pipped Sony to become the world’s best selling LED TV.

433 AD – A year after St Patrick arrives in Ireland, the first Irish drinking song is written. The famous lyrics “aye di aye di aye di aye di aye di aye” was a contribution of one suitably drunk Di O’Bolic, who was busy introducing himself to everyone at the bar.

458 AD – The use of Zero is documented for the first time in an Indian Mathematical Treatise. The rest of the world responds with a terse “Thanks for Nothing!”

6th Century AD, King Arthur is born sometime in this century. Nobody however, remember his birthday ( or even birth year). He was perhaps the first man in history to have his cake and eat it too.

681 AD – Bulgars arrive in the Balkans. In the absence of any kind of security systems, like the Bulgar Alarms, the visitors set up an empire.

732 AD – Annual travelers around Europe are in a dilemma as to which is a better holiday spot – South France or Andalusia, Spain. This leads to a battle among the promoting countries, that’s famously referred to as the Battle of the Tours.

756 AD – The Mayans declare year 2012 as the end of the world. The entire civilization gets consumed by a Drink-until-you-die promotion launched by enterprising bar owners.

807 AD – The Beowulf turns 100. It was still considered too early to be celebrating with a Google Doodle.

917 AD – The Last of the Three Lions escape from England. They try and negotiate a payment deal with the circus owners at Madrid, Milan or even Munich during the January transfer season.

982 AD –  Leif Ericsson discovers America, but he couldn’t find it on the map. Decides to go back home to Norway, and give his shrink a visit.

We’ll begin the next post with another monumental year, 1000 AD – when people were poor with dates, and History still had very few takers.


Entry filed under: Pai-isms.

Mad Man’s History Lessons: Timeline 1 by Sudhir Pai Mad Man’s History Lessons: Timeline 3 by Sudhir Pai

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Sapna  |  March 2, 2013 at 11:23 am

    “The rest of the world responds with a terse “Thanks for Nothing!”” and “In the absence of any kind of security systems, like the Bulgar Alarms, the visitors set up an empire.” – nice!


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